It’s enough to make you black out, pull a mac out, aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud. Every day we playin cat and? mouse as I watch it hoverin over my glass house … It’s enough to make you spazz out, pull a mac out, aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud Tired enough for me to pass out, tired of running from the black cloud …
What up people! Its the last day of the year so before you go out just read this for a second. I started off this entry with the full chorus from Joe Buddens Black Cloud phor a reason. Its a song that sticks in my head, is deeply personal and sums up how I’ve felt this year and alot of years before it.
Alot of things happened this year that shaped my mentality to better myself as a person. I let myself succumb to a crazy addiction that almost destroyed everything I’ve worked and strived phor. I won’t go into too much detail about it but it was bad. My life was in shambles I phelt lost as if nothing would change. My life was over countless times only thing is I knew it wasn’t. Something inside of me wouldnt let me just give up and let my demons win. I knew it was better out there phor me. Then my cousin was killed and I really gave up. I didnt want to do anything I wished death on myself, I cursed God, I couldnt get right at all.
Unlike most people though, I had ppl that I could actually talk to and though everything isn’t as kosher as I want it; I can still look at myself in the mirror and say I never gave up and thats the significance of why I put Black Cloud as my beginning paragraph.
I’m tired of running phrom my mistakes, my phaults and not taking phull responsibility phor my actions.
But on another note (Shit! everything wasnt bad this year) The year had alot of postive notes also … so I cant complain. I’m a part of one the best teams in Philly, I have a beautiful phamily that loves me and I have ideas phor days on what I have to do.
So I’m a end this on a good note and say Happy New Year Pholks have a blessed holiday and dont get as drunk as I’m going to be tonight!!!
I’m going to leave you with how I’m pheeling now, maybe you’ll understand:
Hard to come up short when sh-t is priceless
I can’t explain it, I just gotta embrace it
But something got me feeling this way
Instead of running, I’m waiting here for it
Cause nothin ever felt this great
I’m stuck in the moment